In Relationship Qualities Part 1, we looked at six relationship qualities that are present in some of the most successful couples I’ve studied. Today we’ll look at another four.



7. Physical Intimacy


sexual compatibilityCommunication creates emotional intimacy, but in a loving relationship there must also be physical intimacy. Humans are creatures of affection made to touch and be touched. From babies being tickled, to toddlers having their hair tousled, touch is a way of communicating affection and love. When we got older we hugged friends. When we started dating we held hands. When we found someone to love we made love.


These are acts of tenderness that communicate something important to each other. Emotional connections are important for bonding, but the physical connection communicates love and affection in a way that is exclusive to a loving relationship. Without it, what you have is just a very deep friendship. Both emotional and physical bonds work in concert to keep people anchored to each other.


In my quest to evangelize living a Full Life I’ve had the privilege of working with many people in great relationships. Since happy relationships are essential to a happy Life I’ve spoken to many of them about their relationships, and what made them a success and source of strength on which to draw.   Ineffable chemistryWe’ve looked at the individual qualities in a person which increase the chances of creating a great, synergistic partnership. But how two people interact and what results isn’t predictable, and relationships are based on emotions, not logic. What bridges that gap is chemistry, an ineffable quality that makes the sparks fly between two people.   It’s hard to predict what causes chemistry between two people, but it definitely isn’t just physical. It’s a confluence of factors that cause a special connection of souls and meeting of minds.   Whatever chemistry is, the happiest, most empowering relationships I’ve studied do have common qualities and we’ll look at ten of them. Having most if not all of these qualities, someone in such a relationship is almost guaranteed to have a rich and full Life, not one wasted on drama or toxicity.   Here we go!  

Short Take: Goals, Relationships, Success   One of my dreams is to one day see the Aurora Borealis in person. Even more incredible would be to do so with a special girl in my Life.   I was therefore excited when two friends of mine left for their honeymoon to do the same. It’s always a great feeling when good things happen to good people, and I had a particularly vicarious thrill since this was my own special dream. I imagined all the wonderful moments and emotions leading to that climax of finally seeing the Northern Lights. Excitement, expectation, elation.   It was thus a sobering...


Last time, I wrote about the significance of the number 35, and why it casts a shadow over previous blissful ignorance of age. I shared some elements can conspire to remind us of this, whether our intemperate actions belie our age or not.

This time, I'd like to share with you the process I underwent when I hit that significant landmark as a reference for what you too could do.


1. Do a Stocktake

At 35, I did a stocktake of my Life.

What had I accomplished?

What were my goals?

Where was I going?

Was I on a path I wanted to continue on?

I realized that, regardless of successes and failures, my core philosophy hadn't changed.