In Relationship Qualities Part 1, we looked at six relationship qualities that are present in some of the most successful couples I’ve studied. Today we’ll look at another four.



7. Physical Intimacy


sexual compatibilityCommunication creates emotional intimacy, but in a loving relationship there must also be physical intimacy. Humans are creatures of affection made to touch and be touched. From babies being tickled, to toddlers having their hair tousled, touch is a way of communicating affection and love. When we got older we hugged friends. When we started dating we held hands. When we found someone to love we made love.


These are acts of tenderness that communicate something important to each other. Emotional connections are important for bonding, but the physical connection communicates love and affection in a way that is exclusive to a loving relationship. Without it, what you have is just a very deep friendship. Both emotional and physical bonds work in concert to keep people anchored to each other.


In my quest to evangelize living a Full Life I’ve had the privilege of working with many people in great relationships. Since happy relationships are essential to a happy Life I’ve spoken to many of them about their relationships, and what made them a success and source of strength on which to draw.   Ineffable chemistryWe’ve looked at the individual qualities in a person which increase the chances of creating a great, synergistic partnership. But how two people interact and what results isn’t predictable, and relationships are based on emotions, not logic. What bridges that gap is chemistry, an ineffable quality that makes the sparks fly between two people.   It’s hard to predict what causes chemistry between two people, but it definitely isn’t just physical. It’s a confluence of factors that cause a special connection of souls and meeting of minds.   Whatever chemistry is, the happiest, most empowering relationships I’ve studied do have common qualities and we’ll look at ten of them. Having most if not all of these qualities, someone in such a relationship is almost guaranteed to have a rich and full Life, not one wasted on drama or toxicity.   Here we go!  

CNY! That incredible period of happiness and feasting.   Post CNY… that painful period of weight taking and waist measuring.   In recent articles, I laid down a battle plan for you to engage the forces of temptations during the visiting period, and limit the damage done to your physique goals. This was the BEFORE plan.   Last article, I begaSetting upn laying down the first part of your AFTER plan. It showed you what to do to recover from that period of bombardment, and start the rebuilding of your fitness and physique. We spent some time on Step 1: Setting up of the mind, where I explained the concept of the bullpen. Step 2 was setting realistic expectations.   Step 3: Action has two stages. Stage 1 is the crucial act of simply resuming the lifestyle habits you had before the CNY binge. If you just do that, you’ll be ahead of the curve when it comes to regaining your physique. Many people never do, which spells the beginning of the capitulation process as they roll down the slippery slope of perpetual weight gain.   This concluding part will describe Stage 2 of the Action step.

peanut shellsIn the aftermath of any battle, there’s a rebuilding process, whether you won or lost. The winning side may have less to do, but it still needs to repair damage. In the same way, even if you’ve eaten less than most people, you’ve probably got some extra calories to shed.   I’m hoping you won, by following the battle plan I laid out for you in Surviving Chinese New Year: The Defence Strategy Parts 1 and 2. If you did, you probably have very little damage to repair. If you didn’t, you have a whole lot more to do. Either way, this process takes time. So the sooner you get back on track with your quest to achieve the health, fitness and physique you want, the better.   This article lays out a roadmap for the post-battle bebuild. Once you pull yourself out from the rubble and renew your efforts with determination and purpose, you’ll be back where you left off at the start of CNY, with hardly a battle scar to show for it.   Let’s do it!